So I’ll start out with telling you a little bit about myself(:

My name is Bianca and I am 13 years old. I live in Orlando, Florida. I’m going into 8th grade in August. I play the Flute. Well I quit band this year because we got a new band teacher and hes a bitch so I quit:/. But I’ll probably play when I get into highschool(: I like to have a good time but honestly I can be a pussy. I’m afraid of my step dad and if I get in trouble with him. My mom was married to my father and then they had me. While I was very young my ‘father’ cheated on my mom and she found out and got a divorce. He was in my life for like the first 2 years of my life and then he decided that he was going to run away and not tell anyone where he is. I saw him only once that I can remember and he only called once. ONCE in my entire life. Pathetic. I met my step dad when I was like 3 or so I really don’t remember. And hes been in my life ever since, so he is basically my father and I love him to death. But I’m honestly afraid of him sometimes. But hes also one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. He reminds me so much of myself and we have so much in common and I love him dearly. I really do wish sometimes that my mom could of had me with him instead of my biological father. I really do have a strong hate for my dad, and I don’t want to ever see him again. I want nothing to do with him. My mom and I have never really had a strong relationship my whole life. She always seemed more interested in everyone else around her than me. Just recently we got into a huge argument and I just straight up told her how I felt. It got bad, I got kicked out of the house. But about 10 minutes later she made me come back inside. She took away all of my stuff. -computer -ipod -phone -house phone -radio and all of that. I was PISSED I had nothing to do and I swore to myself that was the worst night of my life. I basically sat there for a good hour or two just thinking about how shittty my life just became. But then about an hour later my mom came in my room and we talked about everything like two normal people and sorted everything out. It was a crazy ass night and I never want to go through that again. My whole life I have felt out of place and unloved and even as a young girl I have felt invisible by my own family. But what got me through it was my friends. They were the ones who listened and told me it would be ok. And gave me advice. Even though half of it was shit advice that I didnt use atleast they were there. And i love my friends to death. I had a boyfriend and I truely did like him. But after awhile I just got tired of him. I don’t know what happened we just fell appart. He liked me alot but I just didn’t feel the same anymore. He would tease me with his friends all the time. He called me this awful name: nigga mama…-___- he would say it all the time and it pissed me the hell off. he would even do it at school and I was like bro wtf? I’m your GIRLFREND you idiot. Him and his friends made a name for me called ‘Mario’ all my life I have had some upper lip hair. half of you probably think i’m a man now but idgaf. so his friends decided to call me mario and they would always sing the theme song arround me and shit and all of his guy friends that would make fun of me were my close friends and i was just like wtf? thanks?  what was the worst part was one of them is my bestest friend EVER! we have been bestfriends since 5th grade and we tell eachother everything and we used to be super close until this year..he was the one who would taunt me the most and say the name the most and thats what would hurt me the most. the fact of knowing one of your closest friends sits there and makes fun of you and hurts your feelings straight in your face. I can definately say that 7th grade wasn’t all that great for me. It actually was a pretty shitty year for me. I have this bestfriend that I’ve known for a while and I love her dearly but i feel that we’re slowly growing appart. We used to have fun just by laughing and acting retarded but I feel like our whole relationship and friendship is fake and just crumbling. Shes not the same anymore shes always getting herself in fucked up situations and shes always doing stupid ass shit. It pissses me off because she trys to act so mature for her age. I love her to death but sometimes I really don’t understand why I’m her friend. She acts as if shes too cool and shes always ignoring all of us. we’ve all been friends since like 5th grade and she decides all these other fake bitches are more important and weed and drinking is more important. its kind of a slap in the face. I understand people change and people make new friends, but that doesn’t mean you have to ignore and completely disrespect the ones that have been so close to you for so long and have been there for you through ALL of your shit. My whole life I’ve basically felt like I don’t fit in. People always used to not like me because I was fat and I looked like I was a bully and all sorts of stuff. People always made fun of me for my upper lip hair and for my chubby-ness. I have issues with trusting guys and letting them in. I had this boyfriends that went out with me and then we broke up and then he asked me back out on my birthday and I swear I was the happiest person on the face of this earth and the same night he said he just went out with me as a joke and I cried my eyes out the entire night. later on in the year my bestfriend went out with him and I was so hurt. I was over him and all but it still kind of hurt because people would be like oh hes always saying how happy he is and blah blah and i was like uhh? it made me feel like a shit girlfriend and a shit person. As a child I used to think of cutting myself, Killing myself, Wishing I died as a baby, and running away. My life definately hasn’t been easy and it probably wont be getting easy any time soon. I like being independent. I don’t like having to depend on someone because everytime I have they end up letting me down and stabbing me in the back. I’m sorry for this being awfully long but thank you for all the people that read the whole thing<3